well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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