sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
