Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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