i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
How does one acquire holy water?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
