You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
