I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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