Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
