Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Randomize
