If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm passing your future prison.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
