her vagine was all disorganized.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
my sisters under your porch take her home
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
