So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
