3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
