I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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