If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
