But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
