I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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