At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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