did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
