she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
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