i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
