i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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