You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
