is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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