Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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