Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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