whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
