All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
