Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
