kristin has been a bad kristin
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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