Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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