Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
