Your tits are I can't wait for
Screwed.edu
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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