her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
