by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
