Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i just wanna soil my oats bro
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
