Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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