i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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