It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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