Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
