school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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