well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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