I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
that is very illegal...i love you.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
