Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
