I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
