Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
