You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
