no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
