I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Randomize
