He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
