I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
