I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
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