Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
