so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
How's work?
Spinning.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Naked. naked and bneed help.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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