i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
These tits shall not be calmed
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
