The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
