You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Randomize
