I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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