dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
