Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
