someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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