I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
she looked like the before picture.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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