we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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