So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
