so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Randomize
