yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Sober January is a disaster.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
