She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Panties = found
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
