On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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