the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
