Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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