he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
