But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
