oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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