Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
