I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
