She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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