Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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