Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
