I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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