I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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